In case you’re confused, here is a list of the regular characters in my life:
The Drama Queen My 12-year-old daughter A.K.A. D.Q.
The Phone Sex Operator My girlfriend and the Love Of My Life
O.C.B. Original Crazy B**** (D.Q.’s mom)
The Kings Fan One of my closest friends (L.A. Kings)
Hot Latin Mama The Kings Fan’s hot wife
G.I. Joe Son of Hot Latin Mama and Kings Fan
The Period One My first date after becoming single
The 36-Year-Old Virgin Someone I dated for a while.
The Bookstore Chick A girl that Drama Queen picked up
The Actress My first love. We met in 1984
The Little Ustin A colleague from KLBC
Hockey Dawg A fellow hockey writer/broadcaster
The Dutch Chick A good friend from high school
The Skater Chick A good friend from high school
Gay Andy A good friend from high school
The Evil Genius A friend and fellow blogger
The USC Guy A colleague who works at USC
Sam The Canadian A guy from Canada named Sam. Duh.
The Fat Man A lying douche from Toronto
Wes The Sports Guy My radio co-host for Talking Sports