Tag Archives: Buffalo

Getting funky

Tear the roof off, we’re gonna tear the roof off the mother, sucker. Tear the roof off the sucker…

I’ve found my blog posts that mention Mexican hookers seem to have great stats. This story is not about Mexican hookers, but I promise that if you indulge me and read on that I will find a way to include Mexican hookers in this story somewhere, somehow. Seriously…

I haven’t written a lot lately. Maybe you’ve noticed. Maybe you haven’t. Either way, I haven’t written a lot lately. I just haven’t felt like it. For me that’s weird. Oh well.

I guess you could say I’ve been in a funk the past couple weeks. I like being funky, but I hate being in a funk. The words are different by only one letter, but elicit two totally different feelings in me. One feeling I love. The other? Not so much.

I guess you could say that my funk is mutli-faceted. There’s a reason for that. I don’t easily get in a funk. I’m generally a pretty happy person, so it takes a lot to get me off my game. I guess I’m just going through that “funk phase” right now. I’m sure that it’s just a phase. I hope it’s just a phase. Please be a phase!!!

Why I’m in a funk: Part one

My job sucks. I get up every morning and go to work with a positive outlook. I really do. Once I get there, however, my outlook becomes less and less sunny. Sometimes the sunny disposition goes away quickly, while other times it takes hours for the fun to go away. I try to make my job not suck, but it does. I work for a guy who changed my pay plan, but never really made it clear that he changed it. I happened to notice it one Thursday when I opened my check. Nice.

The owner and I were supposed to sit down and have a serious talk about things before Christmas. He kept pushing it off and pushing it off and the couple times we did sit down, all he did was recap the last time we sat down, then say, “I need to get going. Let’s finish this tomorrow.” But tomorrow becomes next week, which becomes next month. The bottom line? The full extent of our conversation has yet to happen.

The owner of my company is very old school in the way he does business. He brought me on because I know automotive Internet sales very well. I set up and ran a very successful Internet Sales department at the dealership I worked at in California. He acknowledges this fact to other people. When we have conversations they typically start like this, “I brought you in because you know what to do and you’re the guy who can get this going the right way. We’re way further ahead now that we were in October when you got here. So…here’s how we’re going to do this…” WTF, yo?

I need a better job for Drama Queen (D.Q.) and myself and I’m looking for one. My problem is two-fold. Part one is that there are not a ton of decent jobs available in the Buffalo area right now. The second part is that I’ve done the car thing so long, that it’s hard to get potential employers to see past that.

I’ve got management, sales, customer service and communication skills. Why is it so hard to get those skills across to employers? I sure as hell don’t know. I also hate having to work every Saturday. It sucks for Drama Queen to be alone on Saturdays and I wish I could find something where I could be around more.

I’ve found one potential job, although it will require weekends, which I’m not thrilled about. It will pay substantially more money, which I am thrilled about. I guess we’ll see what happens. If I do get it, I will have to be gone Mon.-Fri. for two weeks to do some training. That could pose a problem, as I have no clue what I would do with Drama Queen those two weeks. I’m not going to worry about that until I actually get the job offer, which is supposed to come next Friday. Please keep your fingers crossed.

My funk: Part two

O.C.B. (Drama Queen’s mom) dropped me a line a couple weeks ago. It’s been a year without any contact and to say that it surprised me would be an understatement. She asked about talking with Drama Queen and said that she has seen the blog and that she’s happy that I’m happy in my relationship with The Phone Sex Operator (P.S.O.). I believe O.C.B. when she says this but I’m a bit concerned about her tracking me down and she’s been pretty much MIA since right after we talked. I’m obviously concerned about D.Q. and how she will react. When I told her about her mom, she said, “I guess I could talk with her.” She didn’t seem too enthusiastic, but I think she kind of wants to.

My funk—The Final Piece:

Part three of my funk has to do with P.S.O. She’s had a lot going on in her life. I’m not going to go into any of it because frankly, it’s no one’s business but hers. I will say that she’s got a ton on her mind and she’s not feeling well. It’s not something as simple as a cold or the flu, but it’s not anything that seems like it will be serious.

Combine her stress with the not feeling well and she too has been in a bit of a funk lately. She needs some space right now to get to where she needs to be and where “we” need to be. I get that. I really do. I’ve been trying to give her the space she needs, but I guess it hasn’t been the easiest thing for me to do. Why?

I’m living in an area where I don’t know a lot of people. I knew two people when I moved here in September, but they were only acquaintances and they have their own lives already in full swing. I don’t do much with either of them and I really haven’t met many other people to socialize with. These two are now my friends, but not what I would call “good friends”.

I know the parents of one of D.Q.’s friends, but the dad is going to school full time and working, so between school, homework and work, they really don’t have much time to do anything. That pretty much leaves P.S.O.

As you may recall, I just mentioned that she has been going through things in her own life and needs a bit of space, which makes it kind of difficult for me to talk my stuff out with a local good friend/best friend type of person.

The two good friends I have back in California are great guys, but not the kind of people that are into a lot of “sharing”. The few times we’ve had deep conversations, booze has been involved and it’s been face to face.

Please don’t take any of this as bitching or complaining because it’s not. This is just a statement of fact and some cheap therapy for me. Getting this out on virtual paper helps me see things as they are and will hopefully help lift me out of my funk. Plus it has the possible added bonus of reminding P.S.O. that I really do get it and that I’m not just an insensitive douche bag. I may be a douche bag, but I’m not insensitive. I love her a lot and I’m sure that she still feels the same way.

As far as I can tell, the relationship with P.S.O. is good. We both still have “in a relationship” on our Facebook pages and we’ve recently made mention of things that we want to do together in the coming months. We’re going out tonight and I’m looking forward to that. We’ve only seen each other once in the last couple weeks and I know that I’m looking forward to a big hug and a couple nice kisses.

At the beginning I promised you Mexican hookers, so here goes. Once P.S.O. and I get out of our funks and back to us both being crazy happy in love, I would really like to take her to Mexico for a few days (with the money I make from a new job). She’s never been to the Pacific side and I’m thinking that a few days in Cabo would really do us some good.

If and when we do that I think that we should definitely hit a couple of the hooker bars and keep tabs on a ho or two so that we can come back with some fresh new stories of Mexican hookers for you, the loyal reader. I have no need for the services of a prostitute, but in the name of research and entertainment I will observe them from a barstool.

J.R.

P.S. What does my opening bit have to do with my funk? Absolutely nothing. The words are the opening lyrics from Give Up The Funk by George Clinton and give up the funk is exactly what I want to do right now!!!

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For more Mexican hooker stories check these out:

Tijuana with The Kings Fan

Drinking in Cabo San Lucas

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Oh Canada…

I was bent over by The Fat Man


I like to think that I’m a good father.  Do I make mistakes?  Hell yeah!  Do I have the best intentions?  Absolutely.  I always want the best for Drama Queen and myself and my goal is for her to have the best life possible.  Does that mean that she always has the best clothes and all the nice things she wants?  No.  But I want to make sure that she is happy, grounded and always know that I love her.  As you read this story, please keep that in mind.

A year ago at this time, January 15, 2009 to be exact, I boarded a plane in Los Angeles and headed to Toronto to begin the single biggest adventure of my life.  This adventure actually began in November of 2008, when I was doing my humble little radio show on KLBC in Long Beach, California.  Now that I think back, it really started back in April of 2008, so let’s go back there.

I was broadcasting college baseball with my co-host and broadcast partner Wes The Sports Guy when I found out that there would be a new minor-league baseball team in Long Beach.  They were called The Long Beach Armada and they were playing in the independent Golden Baseball League (GBL).  I gave the team a ring and inquired as to whether or not they needed broadcasters.  They did and Wes & I landed the gig.

A couple weeks into the season I was approached by a guy named Sam from Hamilton, Ontario.  Sam was producing a weekly TV show for the GBL on a new Canadian cable network and he wondered if Wes & I would like to host it.  Long story short, the TV show never happened because the network didn’t make it on the air before the season was over, but Sam seemed like a cool guy and Wes and I had him on our show as a regular guest.  At some point early on I introduced him as Sam The Canadian and the name sort of stuck.

In early November of 2008 I received another phone call from Sam.  He told me that he knew a guy (The Fat Man) who was starting two new radio stations in suburban Toronto.  One was a country station and the other was to be rock/alternative/AC.  Sam was going to be the morning guy on the country station and he wanted to pitch me as the morning guy for the rock station.  He asked if I was interested and I said I was, as long as the situation was right.

I was offered the gig hosting the morning show and I was assured that the necessary visa paperwork was in the works and I was to start working at the station on February 2, 2009 and the station was to go live on February 9, 2009 at 6 AM with J.R. In the Morning.  I arrived in Canada a couple weeks early to get situated and to get an Ontario drivers license, get a car, a place to live and so on and so forth.  The Drama Queen (D.Q.) was going to fly out with my mom on February 13.  I wanted her to wait a few weeks so that I could get settled and find a good school for her.

I got my new license, got a car and was excited and ready to get to work.  I showed up at the station at 9 AM on February 2 ready to go and found no one there.  Sam and I hung around for a while and decided to go Tim Horton’s for some coffee.  We came back a few minutes after 10 to find The Fat Man just arriving.  Fat Man and I sat down and chatted a bit about what he expected from me, how long my commercial breaks were going to be, when I had to break for news, etc.  Other than that, the show was pretty much mine.

I went into my studio to think about what regular segments I wanted to do and how this was all going to work.  I was understandably nervous, but knew I could handle the job.  On Friday (three days before I was to make my Canadian radio debut) we were informed that the CRTC (Canada’s version of the FCC) was holding up our launch for a few days because of some paperwork glitch involving our antennae.  I was frustrated, but I knew that such things occasionally happened with new stations in the U.S. so I didn’t think too much about it.

That same day I also found out that the paperwork for my work visa actually wasn’t in the works and that it needed to be started right away.  I asked what the hold up was and The Fat Man said very matter-of-factly that the immigration lawyer needed $3,500 to get my work visa and that the station could not afford to pay it, so if I wanted to stay in the country I would need to pay the money.

I was beyond pissed, but what could I do?  I had no job to go back to in California, no place to live in the States and my furniture and all our personal belongings were sitting at the border waiting to be delivered to our new home.  Fat Man explained that he needed a certified check in Canadian funds made out to the station.  I told him that I wanted to make it out directly to the lawyer but he explained that the station had already paid the lawyer but hadn’t anticipated some extra expenses, so either I paid the station back the money or there would be no station to work for.  I was between a rock and a hard place and really had no choice.  I got him his check and kept preparing for my show.

When I found a place to live (the station was renting the house for me) I checked with the school district to see what I needed to register Drama Queen in school.  I was given a list of items and was relieved to find out that I had everything.  She arrived and I took her to school the first day, only to find out that I hadn’t been told everything.  Since I wasn’t Canadian and since my work visa wasn’t finished, I had to pay $800 a month for her to go to public school in Ontario.  I was pissed, but even the Superintendent told me his hands were tied—the Ontario Ministry of Education charged the district the money and someone had to pay it.

I went back to The Fat Man and talked with him about the work visa.  He placed a phone call to the lawyer and said that I would have the visa finished in two weeks.  I enrolled D.Q. in school and figured that I would just eat the $800.

In May I would come to find out, there was no lawyer hired back in February and The Fat Man never paid anyone with my money.  No lawyer meant no work visa, which meant that I was shelling out $800 a month for D.Q. to finish out the school year.  That was $800 in February, March, April and May–$3,200 in all.  He finally did hire a lawyer in May, but it didn’t really matter since the station never went on the air.

The bottom line is that D.Q. and I sat in Canada from January 15, 2009 until September 1, 2009 when we moved to Buffalo.  We were living off of savings and the only compensation I ever received was the rent.  BTW…The Fat Man never paid the last couple months rent and I was evicted in mid-August (with two days notice to clear out) and had to crash with someone the last two weeks we were in Canada.  See what I meant at the beginning when I said I was “bent over by The Fat Man?”

As crappy as this story sounds, it’s not all bad.  I lost a ton of money that I’m trying to get back, but as an American going after a Canadian in Canada it’s not the easiest thing to do.  I made some friends and had some great experiences, which you can read about another time.  If I hadn’t gotten screwed in Canada I never would have moved to Buffalo.  If I never moved to Buffalo I never would have met and fell in love with The Phone Sex Operator.

So boys and girls, the point of the story is this (yes, there is a point):  Sometimes you have to go through crappy experiences to find what you’ve always been searching for.  The bad experiences only highlight how absolutely amazing the good ones can be.  Now that I think about it, I guess that I can consider moving to Canada the beginning of my own personal love story.  The end is yet to be written, but I can assure you that the beginning is pretty sweet!  The End.

J.R.

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