My Daughter, The Drama Queen


I need to make a mental note to pick up a big bottle of Jack Daniels tomorrow.  Some Cuervo Black too.

So far I’ve spent a lot of time regaling you with some of my crazy dating stories.  I’ve introduced you to The Period One, The 36-Year-Old Virgin, The Bookstore Chick and my personal favorite, The Phone Sex Operator (P.S.O.).

I’ve briefly mentioned a few more people who play important parts in my life—there’s the Drama Queen (my 12-year-old daughter) and O.C.B. (A.K.A. Original Crazy B****, A.K.A. the Drama Queen’s mom) and The Kings Fan, who has been one of my closest friends since we met 15 years ago.  The Kings Fan came to the hospital when Drama Queen was born and he was there when she was a baby and we would play pickup hockey with her sleeping in her car seat in the penalty box.

This blog is advertised as “The world of dating and parenting from the perspective of a full-time single dad raising a 12-year-old daughter.  You will usually laugh, sometimes cry and often say, “What the hell was he thinking?” So far we’ve covered the dating, the laughing (sometimes laughing so hard that you cry) and we have more than covered “what the hell was he thinking.”  Now it’s time to get into some parenting…

Long story short, O.C.B. is bi-polar.  There’s not a joke in there anywhere.  She’s bi-polar.  Her doctor told me that there is always some event or circumstance in a bi-polar person’s life that brings out the sickness and for O.C.B. it was having The Drama Queen (D.Q.).  I held the family together as long as I could, but O.C.B. didn’t take her medicine and when D.Q. was five, it was time for mom to move out, thus ending an 11 year adventure.  Since then I have had full custody of her.  The judge gave mom monitored visitation, but she rarely went.  The bottom line is that in 7 years D.Q. has seen or talked to her mom no more than 20 times and even went through a 4-year stretch with absolutely no communication.

I know that I’m not the best dad in the world, but I do the best I can and I think that I do OK, all things considering.  I don’t have a sister, so I can’t look back on memories from my childhood and remember what my parents did in certain situations.  My mom is 2,566 miles away and can help via phone, but it’s not the same.  My goal is to maintain health insurance so that D.Q. can start seeing a really good therapist; one who can balance out all the mistakes that I make!

I’ve been told that the eye rolling and attitude are par for the course with a hormonal 12-year-old.  Oh yeah, I’ve also been told by P.S.O. that all signs indicate that she’s about to have a regular visitor.  Damn.

She needs to go and get a new type of underwear—one which I am happy to say I can take off a woman with one hand tied behind my back (or tied to the headboard), but a type of underwear which I have absolutely no clue how to buy for a 12-year-old.    I need to make a mental note to pick up a big bottle of Jack Daniels tomorrow.  Some Cuervo Black too.

What’s life like at my house?  Well, I’m making chili at this moment and it’s almost done.  I told her that I wanted it to simmer for another 20 minutes or so and then we would eat.  I took a small spoonful so that I could make sure it couldn’t use any more seasoning.  It needed a touch more garlic and some chili powder, so I put them in the pot and grabbed a spoon (not the one I just ate from) and prepared to mix them in.  At that moment the Drama Queen burst into the kitchen and asked if she could stir.  I told her that she could, but to be careful as I didn’t want to have to clean up a mess.  She looked at me and said with a completely straight face but more than a hint of eye roll,  “I think that I can stir chili without any parental consent.”    Oy vey!!!!

J.R.

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11 Comments

Filed under Parenting, Phone Sex Operator

11 responses to “My Daughter, The Drama Queen

  1. OM

    We’re having a girl in two and a half months! I don’t need any more stress!!!

    But other than that, I can tell you that if I were you I would have delegated that one. It’s one thing if you don’t care that the store’s security follows you around (or if you welcome the possible confrontation), but maybe your daughter will be more comfortable going with an adult woman. Anyone will do, you know. A family member, a neighbor, probably even an older teenager.

    Sorry if it comes out as advice–it’s not supposed to be. I’m just thinking out loud. I’m sure you know what you’re doing.

    • First off, Congrats on your female bundle of joy! Second, it did not come off as advice. Actually it DID come off as advice, but it wasn’t unwanted advice! The Phone Sex Operator has offered her services and in fact, the two wonderful women in my life talked on the phone tonight and have set a tentative date for their adventure! I am 100% sure that there will be a story to tell once the trip is done…

  2. I hope you like vomit inducing, head spinning carnival rides, because that’s what you have a ticket for.
    Having girls that have reached 15, 12 & having been a teen girl myself once upon a time, I can tell you the next 6 years aren’t pretty, but worth it in the end.

  3. Reason #4,596 I’m forever thankful I had a boy!

    But seriously, good for you. Raising a girl would give me an ulcer. Raising a girl by myself would land me in a mental institution. Keep up the good work.

  4. For some weird reason I’m managing to do this without an ulcer and no one has come straight out and suggested that I get some professional inpatient help. Keep reading because things may change…

  5. Wow. I am so not looking forward to those years. My six year old just started wearing “little bras” as she calls them. Hang in there and shoot one back for me.

  6. What the heck is a “little bra”? Do I even want to know? I will shoot a few back for you. Do you prefer the Jack or the Cuervo? I would offer you some Three Olives, but that’s for P.S.O. and I don’t want to offer it without her permission…

  7. Dawn

    I’ve been raising my two girls alone since 2001 when I divorced their father. Their father has little interest in their lives.My oldest just turned 18, and boy, could I give you stories. My hands and arms remain inside the ride at all times as we keep moving forward. My youngest just turned 13 yesterday………you’re about par for the course with the eye rolling, and sarcastic replies. My youngest, after being denied something ever so important in her young life- decided to write that ‘life sucks’ above the address number on our mailbox. (sigh). Looking forward to the blog, and sharing stories. I enjoy malibu rum with a splash of amaretto, pineapple juice and a dash of cranberry. Lol when I read about the Cuervo and Jack.

  8. Dianne,

    I feel your pain. I really do. I enjoy Malibu too. Jack & Coke, rum & Coke, Cuervo & Coke. It’s all good. Please feel free to share any of your stories with me. You can go to the top of the page and click the “Contact J.R.” link and e-mail me directly.

    How long did it take your daughter to clean off the grafitti on the mailbox? Mine is doing a ski and snowboard club through a local school and I rented a snowboard, boots and bindings for the season. As she was putting on her snowboard boots today at noon (she needed to be there between 12:15 and 12:30) she announced that they were too tight. I asked her when she realized that and she told me last Saturday. When I asked her why I was just hearing about this now she just sighed a deep sigh and said, “I don’t know.” I think I need a drink…

  9. Pingback: Discovering Dad Blog Carnival – February 2010 : Discovering Dad

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